Surrender: Guilty Pleasures #1 (BBW Erotic Romance) Read online

  My heart was pounding and Jake knew it. His fingers were on my wrist, reading my pulse as if it were Braille. I knew what it said; he did as well.

  We held each other’s gaze, stayed in that moment for a long time. The intensity held, but something unspoken had passed between us. I was ready for whatever he had planned for me, totally under his spell, in his control.

  I was ready to be his submissive.

  ***

  Jake reached for me, pulling me slowly toward him. The kiss he gave me was uninhibited, full of the lust and passion his eyes promised, but it was all too brief. He broke away with a harsh noise.

  He sat back, watching me. I was practically panting, my body on fire. I’d have gladly let him take me there, on this rug, no questions asked.

  But I saw he was struggling to get himself under control. He closed his eyes briefly, drawing a deep breath, holding it for a moment before blowing it out. When he opened them, the fire and passion was still there, but I saw restraint as well. As much as I wanted him, then and there, I knew I needed to respect his decision as how to move forward.

  “There’s a bathroom across the hall where you can change. There’s a robe you can wear. I’d like you to tie your hair back for me, so it won’t get in the way.”

  He stood gracefully, pulling me up from the rug. His face was still flushed but something in his eyes had changed; some kind of restraint was in place. I nodded and made my way on shaky legs out of the room.

  Once in the bathroom, I leaned back against the door. I took a deep, shuddering breath. I wasn’t really sure what had just happened, but it had hit me deeply. There was much more going on here than just a man who wanted to tie me up and spank me. I wasn’t sure if that restraint I saw in his eyes was in place to protect me, or to protect himself.

  The robe was a plush affair, generous and cozy. I found an assortment of hair ties on the counter, chose a pretty blue ribbon and managed to corral my hair. Before leaving, I took a look around the bathroom. It boasted a full steam shower and jetted tub, all covered in creamy marble. It also seemed to have no square corners. Each angle was sharp, each wall at an odd angle to its neighbor. Again the image of a castle rose up. Maybe there’s a secret tower in the center of the house. I shook my head, laughing at myself.

  While I was gone, the room had been transformed. Jake had turned down the lights and lit dozens of fat white candles. It was completely dark outside now and the candle light was reflected in the beveled edges of the floor to ceiling windows.

  Jake was by the fire, adding another log. He straightened and turned toward me when he heard the click of the door, walking toward me in the softly lit room. He’d taken off his shirt and shoes and I let my eyes slide over his chest, the dark nipples against his tawny skin. I resisted the urge to lick my lips.

  His jeans hung low on his narrow hips, revealing that delicious landscape below his navel, something that always makes me weak in the knees. I gave in and ran my tongue over my lips.

  He took me gently by the hand, guiding me toward the fireplace. The firelight cast a glow over the rug and I had a fleeting image of myself lying naked, my skin burnished to a golden hue by the fire. And I was amazed to find that image didn’t really bother me in the least.

  “Here, let me take this.” Jake undid the tie of the robe and I turned as he slid the garment down my arms. I hesitated just a moment before turning to face him.

  His eyes moved slowly over my body, taking in everything, lingering here and there, finally traveling back to meet my eyes. All I saw reflected there was admiration and desire. I smiled, holding his gaze. He nodded and smiled back.

  “You are beautiful, Abby. And I think you know that now.” He reached out, softly stroking my cheek. “But I’ll continue telling you that anyway, because I enjoy saying those words, and I think you should hear them often.”

  He helped me down to the floor, kneeling beside me. “On your stomach, please. Arms down at your sides.”

  There was a low table set near the end of the rug. A small bowl of steaming water held a bottle and several small neatly folded white towels lay beside it. Jake reached for the bottle, wiping the water off with a towel. He disappeared from my view.

  The rug was wonderfully soft, thick and springy. I could sense the heat of the fire brushing against one side of my body; the other side was deliciously cool in contrast. I sighed, closing my eyes, letting my body sink into the embrace of the rug. The flickers of candle light made patterns on the inside of my eyelids. Even without the massage… But I was eagerly anticipating the feel of Jake’s hands on my body.

  “I want you to relax, let me do the work here. Nothing is required of you at the moment other than to let me do this. I want you to trust me, to learn the feel of my hands on your body. There are no expectations for either of us tonight; it takes us wherever it will. I just want us to learn to be comfortable with each other.”

  His voice was hypnotic, the cadence soothing. I could feel him moving beside me and then the air was filled with the most wonderful scent. I breathed deeply and then my eyes flew open. I twisted my head to look back at him. The corners of his mouth twitched in a hint of a smile.

  “Yes, it’s scented with Dragon’s Blood oil. I noticed you wore it the other night. I thought it might relax you, make you comfortable.” I returned his smile, closing my eyes, resting my head on the rug.

  “Ready?” His voice was very close to my ear, almost a whisper. I nodded my head.

  His hands were slippery and warm as he made several sweeping passes across my upper back with the palms of his hands, before his fingers beginning to massage my shoulders. I shouldn’t have been surprised by the strength in his hands, but it took me by surprise. I shifted beneath his touch. Immediately the pressure lessened.

  “Let me know if anything hurts. This isn’t a session—there’s no domination or bondage tonight—and we don’t need a safe word here. If something is uncomfortable, just say so.”

  I nodded. “I always have tense shoulders. You’re fine. Keep going.”

  His fingers dug deep into the tense muscles at the base of my neck, across my shoulders, making me exhale with release as he hit those twin spots on my shoulder blades that were always knotted.

  Slowly he massaged the tension from my upper back. He moved to my feet and I thought I was truly in heaven. I moaned softly as he firmly kneaded the soles, working each toe briefly.

  With long strokes he began working his way up the calves of my legs, slowly stroking the skin from the ankle to the knee. Until now, the unknotting of my muscles, the lessening of tension, had been the main sensation I’d felt. But as he touched the tender skin of my inner knee, other parts of my body began responding. I felt my legs relax, realizing I’d been holding them together.

  So far all I’d felt were Jake’s hands on my body. But as he moved to my arms, I felt his leg brush against my body. For some reason, that small touch of rough denim against my skin brought a wave of emotions and sensations cascading through me.

  This was a real man here, his hands all over my naked body, by his own admission very much attracted to me. And even though there were no overt expectations here, the subtle—or not so subtle—under current was pure lust. And not just Jake’s lust, but mine as well. My breath caught in my throat; I wanted him as much as he wanted me.

  Jake must have sensed a change; he’d moved to my arms and even though he was just as thorough in working his way from my hands to my shoulders, I sensed an urgency to his movements that was absent earlier.

  Moving away from me for a moment, his hands returned to my legs, long strokes working up the outside of my thighs, moving to the inside. With soft pressure, he traced a line from the inside of my knee up the tender skin of my inner thigh, over and over, unlocking some formerly unknown erogenous zone. I felt a swift contraction of the muscles deep in my body; my hips jerked forward, my hips pressing into the rug with a most un-lady like grunt.

  There as a breathless moment when I won
dered just how intimate this massage was going to be as his hands moved higher, but he only brushed them quickly over my ass as they circled up to my lower back.

  For a brief moment, his hands left my body completely. Then I felt the roughness of denim on my outer thighs as he apparently was straddling my legs, leaning forward to massage my lower back.

  His hands spanned my waist, thumbs digging into my muscles. I let out an audible sigh as his thumbs found some magic spot buried there, sending another hard jolt to somewhere deep inside me.

  For a long moment we stayed like this, his thumbs moving in ever-widening circles. Every breath I exhaled ended in a sigh, my hips now rhythmically pressing into the rug.

  Jake shifted back, denim sliding along my thighs. His hands moved over my ass, this time with purpose, pressing hard, kneading my flesh. His thumbs ran along the crease at the tops of my thighs, up my ass, pulling my cheeks apart, sliding up the cleft, sweeping down to start over. With each pass, his fingers slid further between my legs, finally brushing against the soft outer lips of my pussy. I shuddered at his touch, my breathing shallow, waiting for—longing for—the next pass of his hands over my ass.

  Above me I could hear Jake’s breath coming in slightly raspy gasps. His legs moved against mine, sliding down, his hands leaving my body. I resisted the urge to beg for more.

  Suddenly I felt the heat of his body above mine as he pressed his chest against my back. I did open my eyes, saw his hand on the rug next to my shoulder. I stopped breathing; the nearness of him was intoxicating.

  Slowly…so very slowly, he rocked back and forth, his naked chest rubbing lightly against my back, his breath in my ear as he held his head just above mine. I wanted to squirm but his legs kept mine pinned together.

  He shifted slightly and I felt the rough touch of denim on my ass. And beneath the feeling of the material was the heat and hardness of his cock, obviously very erect. He began slowly rubbed himself against my ass. I did squirm then, but the pressure of his legs on mine increased, holding me tight.

  “Shh…” I felt more than heard him speak. “Lay still.” The pressure of his body on my ass increased as he pressed against me, forcing my cheeks apart.

  My hips were moving on their own, rising and falling in time with Jake’s body. That bit of squirming he didn’t seem to mind. His breath was growing harsh in my ear when he finally pulled away, sitting back, the subtle weight of his body on my legs, my back suddenly chilly in the absence of his warmth, even in with the heat of the fire and the flush of my arousal.

  “Turn over, Abby.” His voice held a roughness, barely restrained.

  I rose up on my elbows, shifting on the rug, lying on my back for Jake, looking up at him. He was still straddling my lower legs, his spread wide, allowing me to roll over. My eyes strayed down his chest to his crotch, even though I willed them to stay focused somewhere else.

  But the sight of his erection straining against the front of his jeans was almost too much for me. I watched as his hands moved to the buttons on his fly, undoing the top three, pulling the denim away from his body.

  The head of his was cock clearly visible, along with a couple inches of his thick shaft. There was a corresponding wave—more like a physical thump—deep within my body. I let out an involuntary noise, halfway between a gasp and a moan.

  I met his gaze. He eyes were blazing, the wild and barely controlled Jake clearly visible. This time I gasped loudly.

  The change was subtle but the wildness receded, again, but barely. I held my breath. The overwhelming sensation was of being in the presence of a wild animal: if I moved, or breathed, he would bolt and I’d lose him. Or, he’d attacked and I’d be at his mercy.

  And I really wanted to be attacked.

  Jake reached for the bottle of massage oil, squirting a stream into the palm of his hand, rubbing them together. With measured strokes, he worked his way up my legs, gently spreading them, tracing the same triangle on my inner thighs he had earlier. My body responded on its own, my thighs tensing and relaxing beneath his hands.

  He moved up, kneeling between my knees, his own legs spread, holding my legs apart, gently but firmly restraining me. If this is dominance, I’m on board.

  In a swift and graceful motion, he leaned forward, his hands sweeping lightly over my breasts, down my stomach, over my pubic bone and down my thighs. He repeated this over and over, the feather-light sensation of his fingers sliding over my skin driving me slightly wild.

  His eyes were focused on my body, watching his hands as they slid over my skin. I let my gaze drift over his shoulders, back down to his hard cock. It was visible when he straightened, hidden by his body when he leaned forward. But I could sense the nearness of it, the heat from his body as he held himself above me.

  He arched his back as he leaned forward, his exposed cock coming closer and closer to touching the apex my thighs. As he pulled away, he rolled his hips forward, slowly thrusting his cock upward, exhaling through his mouth, the sound changing from a sigh to a softly drawn out groan.

  My hips were still moving on their own, rolling slowly up and back in time to Jake’s shifting movement over my body and it brought us in contact, the head of his cock grazing my lower stomach. Jake hesitated briefly, his eyes closing as he slid his cock along my stomach. He slowly pulled back, resting his hands on the rug beside my arms, his body again held above me.

  Jake stopped, his cock resting just above the tops of my thighs. Slowly he began thrusting forward, the oil between us coating his cock, the head rubbing against my skin. I watched his face, his eyes closed, his lips parted.

  The head of his cock slipped lower, catching on my body, sliding against my clit. I jerked involuntarily, a small cry escaping my lips.

  Jake opened his eyes, looking down at me. Wordlessly he straightened, his fingers undoing the finally buttons of his jeans, pushing them down his narrow hips.

  And then he was between my legs, his elbows resting on the rug, my face in his hands. I spread my legs further, sliding them up his waist, feeling weightless, my skin slick with the oil, its fragrance filling the air.

  “Now, please, Jake.” My voice was low but startlingly clear in the quiet room.

  Wordlessly he shifted, the head of his cock sliding between my legs, brushing against my clit again and then sliding into me. I exhaled, a long sigh of release, of relief, rolling my hips up to meet his initial thrust.

  Jake held himself inside me, looking down into my eyes. I held his gaze, the firelight dancing over his chiseled features, my hands on his chest.

  “Abby…” His voice was a low whisper, my name more a sigh of breath than a word. He began moving, slowly, pulling his cock back, sliding it back inside me with more force each time, his eyes locked with mine, so very blue and so very intense, but at the moment almost unreadable.

  We stayed with this dance for a long time, slowly savoring the intense heat that had built during the massage, staying on that plateau of pleasure for what seemed an eternity.

  But our bodies wanted more and gradually Jake began thrusting with more purpose. More noises were added to each thrust, low grunts and moans from Jake, higher pitched sounds from me.

  We reached the point of no return fairly quickly then, each of us now intent on the impending release of our climax. I was there first, my body arching beneath Jake, closing my eyes as I threw my head back, my sharp cries growing louder as my body shook with the force of my orgasm. Muscles contracted all over my body, my hips flexing, rising off the rug, grinding up against his body.

  I could feel myself squeezing Jake’s cock, my body molding to the contours of him inside me. Everything else diminished except for the powerful sensation of him thrusting hard into me, and my body’s reply, waves washing through me.

  I let myself come back, to focus again on Jake. I opened my eyes, watching his face as his own orgasm swelled and peaked.

  His breath was ragged in his throat, his eyes closed. The steady thrusting of his cock into me was re
placed by a series of jabs, erratic and sharp, short spaces of time where he held himself deep inside, completely still. Time seemed suspended and I realized I was holding my breath in anticipation.

  With an explosive thrust and a loud hoarse cry, Jake came, every muscle taut. I was instantly filled with an amazing heat, his cock moving in a series of jerks and shudders that I knew Jake had no control over. I spread my legs as far as I could, rolling my hips up, allowing him to flex his hips, to force himself as far as he could into my body.

  With one last grunt and fierce thrust into me, Jake began to relax, slowly, limb by limb. He rested his head on my shoulder, breathing very hard against my neck. I ran my hands over his shoulders and back, the slickness of his sweat now mingled with the oil from my bodies.

  Without lifting his head, he shifted his hips, pulling his cock out of me, letting it rest on the inside of my thigh. I cradled his head against my shoulder as he brought one hand up to gently stroke the round fullness of one breast.

  After a long time he rose on one elbow, looking down at me, tracing a forefinger along my cheek.

  “Abby…that was more intense than I could have imagined.” He leaned down, slowly brushing my lips with his.

  I looked up at him in the fading light of the fire. “Do you need aftercare?”

  He laughed, a rich sound. “I should think so, but aftercare would only get us back to this…” He looked down at our intertwined bodies.

  He held my gaze for a moment. “You know, this is not how it’s always going to be.” His voice was serious even though his lips carried a hint of a smile.

  “This wasn’t a session, in the sense of what I want to explore.” He rolled onto his back, resting his hands on his chest, not touching me.

  “This can’t become a romantic relationship. We’ve agreed. And this may have crossed a line.” He turned on his side, looking at me, that unreadable look in his eyes.